Time Takes Time
My friend Jane is feeling impatient. She left her corporate golden handcuffs last year to make a dramatic professional pivot, and while she’s got a direction and a few footholds in her new path, it hasn’t all come together yet.
My client Duncan got a huge promotion that he’s wanted for years. 35 days into his new leadership role, he scheduled a coaching session—because he’s not up and running in the way he wants to be yet.
I’m recovering from Autistic burnout. It hit hard last fall, and I had to pivot my business strategy at the beginning of this year to make room for recovery and rest. I’m back to my full schedule and feel so much more whole than I did in February, but I’m not fully let’s-take-on-the-world at work yet.
Yet.
All of us are as impatient as a kid in the backseat asking repeatedly, "Are we there yet?!?"
We expect life plans to come together quickly, to step into new leadership roles wholly on the first day, and for healing to happen overnight.
And it’s no wonder: we’re steeped in a culture of short term thinking and fast fixes. Everything moves so quickly. I heard that capri pants are back in style, and they’ll probably be out by next year. My mom wore them through a whole decade of popularity, but fashion cycles happen so fast now. Everything happens fast.
Time takes time
Important things aren’t fast. There are no shortcuts or quick answers to figuring out your direction in life. Anybody who promises you one is offering something superficial. Deeper understandings require reflection, exploration, and discernment.
Stepping into a new leadership role is a process. It’s a tough one, because often it means that you’re going from being the go-to-guy to the new-guy who doesn’t even know how to use the copy machine. It’s uncomfortable to be in the not knowing, of asking the obvious questions. But it’s a gift, too—you can analyze the landscape of a new environment with fresh eyes and show up in a way that will improve it. That is, if you’re not rushing. Getting to know people and a new system requires thoughtfulness and intention.
Healing takes time. Whether it’s from burnout, a toxic work experience, grief, or illness. It is so, so tempting to rush it. To be frustrated that you're STILL coming back together. But recovery takes care and space. Often, it takes longer than you think it will.
The long view
A while back, I read an article that has stuck with me but I can no longer find. It was about how apprenticeships in the Renaissance period lasted seven years—because learning a craft takes time. Seven years sounds so long! The article was about how we’ve lost that patience and long view on what it takes to build a skill set and a body of work.
I think about that article often, especially when I’m helping people forge their career paths and step into new leadership roles.
If you believe in your work, it is going to take time. To build your skills and experience. To learn how to make deeply aligned decisions. To know yourself and keep getting to know yourself.
To figure out what kind of a leader your new team needs right now and intentionally step into that role. To build relationships and trust. To learn processes and identify where they can be improved.
To let your body recover. To find new equilibrium. To break old habits and forge newer, healthier ones.
This is all too important and wonderful to expect overnight.
So the next time you find yourself asking why it STILL hasn't all come together, step back and take a wider view.
We're playing the long game here. Let’s remember to leave ourselves the space and the patience to develop over time.
Other Reminders on Patience
I need a reminder every so often to slow down and take the long view. If you do, too, here are two of my favorites:
