Guest Post: Purpose Is Not Frivolous by Emily Pantel
Meet Emily
It's not an awesome, fun time right now to be navigating a career. I've been hearing from you all about lay-offs, bad bosses, feeling stuck, being asked to do even more with even less, a constant sense of precarity, and feeling lucky just to have a job even though it's costing you your mental health.
It will get better. The pendulum swings back and forth—for a time, companies hold the power, and then for a time, workers hold the power (think 2022). But that doesn't help right here in this moment.
My individual coaching spots are full right now, but I want to introduce you to my friend, colleague, and fellow coach: Emily Pantel of Self Over Should. Emily is a gifted career coach whose philosophy and training aligns with my approach. And she's here as a resource for anyone who needs coaching support right now.
I asked Emily to write a guest post today, and I think you're going to love it. Let's hear from her:
The pursuit of purpose and work you actually enjoy has never felt more like an indulgence, and yet urgently essential.
At a recent conference, executive coach Jerry Colonna asked, "How do we maintain purpose and flourishing in a world where survival seems at risk?"
This question is the elephant in every room of the modern workforce, and on the hearts and minds of workers everywhere.
Capital ‘R’ Responsibility hovers like a storm cloud, bills continue to come due, and yet the sense that the world could end tomorrow is just as heavy, pleading with us not to settle, not to give up, but to live.
But as many of us are facing or bracing themselves for multiple worst-case scenarios, it’s often in these circumstances that we dismiss our dreams and desires as delusional, unrealistic or naive.
The dissonance hurts on a soul level
You might feel like you have no choice but to delay what you really want to do, or even abandon the idea altogether. That other version of your life feels so very far away.
You might feel stuck in a job you hate because leaving feels too precarious. Meanwhile, you’re trapped in another meeting that could have been an email while the trees are alive with the sound of summer outside, and the fuck-this energy is enough to flip the standing desk.
As you contemplate making a change, your inner critic is quick to scold you in their efforts to keep you safe. “Get real. Look around. These are not normal times. Don’t be ridiculous.”
But there’s another voice within that responds, “It’s exactly because these are not normal times that I ought to pursue what I truly want. If not now, when?”
How do we reconcile this tension?
It’s a complex question with more than one way to address it, but I offer this option for today: We begin by making ourselves less useful to the status quo.
Being “less useful” entails seeking opportunities to deviate from what you “should” do. It means living your values instead of upholding a capitalist value system. As a starting point:
Notice when you feel lazy. Instead of turning to your to-do list, double down on being "lazy" for a while longer. Chances are you’re resting and you need it.
Prioritize your fundamental biological needs before your tasks. Before you send that next email, take a moment to stretch or grab a snack (prioritize your energy). Before you greet the next customer waiting in line, drink a sip or two of water (prioritize your thirst).
Protect the precious resource of your attention. If you check your phone as soon as you wake up in the morning, experiment with spending your first 10 waking minutes off-screen. Notice what your mind is thinking about before your phone asserts an agenda on your thoughts.
Nothing illustrates the resilience of being less useful more poignantly than the tale of a famous tree in Oakland named Old Survivor, which Jenny Odell shares at the opening of How to Do Nothing.
`A stunning 500+ years old, Old Survivor is the last remaining old-growth redwood tree in the area. All other redwoods were torn down for logging after the Gold Rush. With its gnarled and twisted shape, “Old Survivor survived largely by appearing useless to loggers as a timber tree.” Imagining herself as this great tree, Odell ponders: “If I had been of some use, would I ever have grown this large?”
May we all grow tall and wild. Together, a sprawling resilient forest, teeming with life.
The pursuit of purpose and meaningful work are not frivolous, they are life-giving. Whether you already know what your dream job would be, or simply know your current one is Not It, you’re not alone, and help is available.
Like Carole-Ann, I'm here to help you find clarity amidst overwhelm, navigate uncertainty, and sustainably cultivate your vision and bring it to life.
Don't give up.
In solidarity,
Emily Pantel
